That is the question I am pondering. As it stands, our household consists of not a single furry creature. Unless, that is, you consider the frog that is currently clinging to my outside window. Or the deer that walk through our yard. Or the racoons that we hear clicking and chirping in the woods. Or the thirteen turtles that bask on the log in our pond every morning...
My 6-year old has been asking, nay, begging for a dog in the last several months. These requests could usually be pacified with catching and releasing a turtle, a frog, a caterpillar. But I could tell Jackson still held a hankering, an itch that wasn't scratched, and one that could only be remedied by a canine companion. "I can't play fetch with a turtle." "I can't sleep with a frog in my bed." To the latter: yes, he has tried.
This underlying doggie-desire came to a head yesterday when a stray dog came wandering into the yard. We live pretty remotely and can't actually see any neighbors, in any direction, so a roving rover was cause for alarm. Panic subsided quickly after the necessary precautions and the night was spent petting and playing ball with this new-found feral friend. As one can imagine, innocent playtime quickly turned into, "Can we keep him?"
The emotional cocktail of relief and sadness is hard to describe. Palpable. This was the sentiment when the dog's rightful (I use the term loosely) owner drove in. The kids didn't want him to go. The dog didn't want to go (I'm no super sleuth, but the barking at his owner and then laying down, and then having to be dragged, and then carried to the truck were all pretty swell clues). It was a scene, to be short.
Jackson couldn't pull himself out of it. Most of the night was spent crying, sobbing for a dog. Any dog, really.
I know the easy answer is, "Well, just get the boy a damn dog, already!" However, is that the easy answer? I know the work it takes, the time, the feeding/cleaning/vet visits/ etc it takes. What IS the responsible thing to do?
And so the dog-devotion in Jackson grows stronger tonight, I am sure. And I teeter back and forth with the pros and cons, looking at the 'logical' solution and the one that my (and Jackson's heart) tells me. I think I just may have answered my own question...
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
I'm going to lose my $h!%; six steps that may help you keep it.
This summer has been a particular challenge for me. After quitting my job in corporate technology sales this spring to spend more time with our kids, I have been, well...spending more time with our kids. Lots of time. Lots and lots of 4- and 6-year old, unadulterated, full mom-attention, mom-im-bored-and-he-wont-share-his-Legos-and-im-hungry-again-and-im-bored...time with my kids.
Now, before I get messages about how grateful I should be that I get this time with my children, please note: I am eternally grateful to my husband for providing for us to allow us to have this dynamic. I really am.
That said, even the most precious children and patient parent will feel a surge of insanity. It may start slow, dislodging another Lego from your foot after calmly asking him to pick them up...once, twice....seven times. Folding laundry down the hall only to come into the kitchen with both children on the counter, rummaging through the refrigerator like two famished, ferrell racoons. Finally making it to the end of the day of cooking, cleaning, playing, wiping, washing, folding, sanitizing, driving, waiting, carpooling, balancing, shopping, sweeping, and repeating...I try to eek in a few minutes of me-time. This may mean a guilty-pleasure episode of "Orange is the New Black" or a 1/2 hour of yoga.
Admittedly, the two options are on opposite ends of the relaxation spectrum. However, this leads me to my point. If those few moments of personal sanity are interrupted by yet one more, "Mommy, I'm hungry, and thirsty, and I can't sleep, and..." followed by said freshly bathed, fed, brushed, read-to, sang-to child wandering out of the confines of the bed with freshly washed and line-hung, sunshine-dried sheets, I have been known to lose my $h!^. A bit. How to keep it together when the train is derailing:
1. Breathe
2. Breathe more (this is also a good time to pause the lesbian sex-scene playing in 'Orange'
3. Close your eyes and have an out-of-body experience. What do you look like right now? What will you look like when/if you haul off on the target in question (spouse, child, co-worker, boss, etc)? What do you want to look like instead?
4. Picture, envision the reaction you want to have and what you want that to look like.
5. Take a deep breathe from your belly up to your chest and out again (three-part breath for those yogis out there). Breathe in love, breathe out frustration. Breathe in gratefulness for this being and this life lesson, breathe out the negative energy choking you out.
6. Rise, and play out the scene you envisioned for yourself. (Personal hint: I always pretend someone is watching. Not sure if that means angels, guides, gods, or God, or Self...but it helps).
It's not easy. Staying home isn't easy. Working isn't easy. But if we can find joy, passion, gratefulness, self-worth, fulfillment in what ever we do, we are on the right path.
“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves stronger. The amount of work is the same.” ~ Carlos Castaneda
Now, before I get messages about how grateful I should be that I get this time with my children, please note: I am eternally grateful to my husband for providing for us to allow us to have this dynamic. I really am.
That said, even the most precious children and patient parent will feel a surge of insanity. It may start slow, dislodging another Lego from your foot after calmly asking him to pick them up...once, twice....seven times. Folding laundry down the hall only to come into the kitchen with both children on the counter, rummaging through the refrigerator like two famished, ferrell racoons. Finally making it to the end of the day of cooking, cleaning, playing, wiping, washing, folding, sanitizing, driving, waiting, carpooling, balancing, shopping, sweeping, and repeating...I try to eek in a few minutes of me-time. This may mean a guilty-pleasure episode of "Orange is the New Black" or a 1/2 hour of yoga.
Admittedly, the two options are on opposite ends of the relaxation spectrum. However, this leads me to my point. If those few moments of personal sanity are interrupted by yet one more, "Mommy, I'm hungry, and thirsty, and I can't sleep, and..." followed by said freshly bathed, fed, brushed, read-to, sang-to child wandering out of the confines of the bed with freshly washed and line-hung, sunshine-dried sheets, I have been known to lose my $h!^. A bit. How to keep it together when the train is derailing:
1. Breathe
2. Breathe more (this is also a good time to pause the lesbian sex-scene playing in 'Orange'
3. Close your eyes and have an out-of-body experience. What do you look like right now? What will you look like when/if you haul off on the target in question (spouse, child, co-worker, boss, etc)? What do you want to look like instead?
4. Picture, envision the reaction you want to have and what you want that to look like.
5. Take a deep breathe from your belly up to your chest and out again (three-part breath for those yogis out there). Breathe in love, breathe out frustration. Breathe in gratefulness for this being and this life lesson, breathe out the negative energy choking you out.
6. Rise, and play out the scene you envisioned for yourself. (Personal hint: I always pretend someone is watching. Not sure if that means angels, guides, gods, or God, or Self...but it helps).
It's not easy. Staying home isn't easy. Working isn't easy. But if we can find joy, passion, gratefulness, self-worth, fulfillment in what ever we do, we are on the right path.
“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves stronger. The amount of work is the same.” ~ Carlos Castaneda
Monday, March 3, 2014
We are all just characters...
It's Monday. And it's cold. And the harshness of winter has started to erode at our humanity, our sanity, our sensibilities. We start to self-doubt. To dream of greener grasses (figuratively and literally). Overcome by our own sense dubiousness, we turn that negativity outward. Why? Because our ego is bored. Our ego needs something new to get us fired up about. It needs attention. And the best to way to feed that fire is to look at everyone else's life. And we judge. We judge how they look, how they act, decisions they've made, things they say, choices they've made...and we compare.
To my point, we take things personally. We all do. No matter how many times you read 'The Four Agreements' you will still take things personally. How to better remind ourselves that this is an ill-use of our brainwaves? Perhaps this nugget of Ruiz truth: we are all just secondary characters in each other's story (Ruiz). As others judge us, say things, do things that seem willfully meant to hurt us, remember - we are but a secondary character in their story, so the judgements imposed on us can not be personal. They can't be attacking us because they don't know us. We are but a perception, a character, a scene in their story. Therefore, what they say is not personal. It's about them, not us.
But again - that is an outward focus. This reminder is for us. For me. For you.
Do not judge, lest ye be judged.
What this prophetic prose really means... if you don't judge, you won't be judged. Why? Because you won't care if others are judging you. It's not personal. It never is.
One last expression before waving the white flag at this frigid Monday:
It's not all about you ;)
To my point, we take things personally. We all do. No matter how many times you read 'The Four Agreements' you will still take things personally. How to better remind ourselves that this is an ill-use of our brainwaves? Perhaps this nugget of Ruiz truth: we are all just secondary characters in each other's story (Ruiz). As others judge us, say things, do things that seem willfully meant to hurt us, remember - we are but a secondary character in their story, so the judgements imposed on us can not be personal. They can't be attacking us because they don't know us. We are but a perception, a character, a scene in their story. Therefore, what they say is not personal. It's about them, not us.
But again - that is an outward focus. This reminder is for us. For me. For you.
Do not judge, lest ye be judged.
What this prophetic prose really means... if you don't judge, you won't be judged. Why? Because you won't care if others are judging you. It's not personal. It never is.
One last expression before waving the white flag at this frigid Monday:
It's not all about you ;)
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Day 2 of the Challenge - Missing
Today's theme, 'Missing' makes sense for so many reasons...
Here we are, at the end of Day 2 of the Challenge. While I'm not feeling overly hungry or lethargic (as I thought I would and perhaps did on Day 1), I am finding that I am missing certain...things.
The first thing I realized I was missing this morning was the, ahem, movement that usually takes place after my morning coffee. Still, at the end of Day 2, nothing is, uh, moving, which has given me the radiant appearance of a blossoming 1st trimester mother. Not to worry; I know it's all in the process...
Moving on. Pun intended.
The headaches I experienced on Day 1 have subsided, and I think my thoughts are becoming more clear. However, these moments of clarity came to a screeching halt when I decide it would be fun to take the kids to McDonalds (RARE 'treat') and the movie Frozen (soo good; true love is not always the romantic kind - FINALLY, DISNEY, you got it right!) But I digress.
Yes, soon after we made this decision, I realized that it was apparent that I was also missing my sense of better judgement. I am not sure if there are more tempting aromas than that of the infamous McD's french fries or the warm, wafting aroma of movie theater popcorn. Nay, the only thing that made those more irrisitible was the sounds that accompanied these scents: the shaking of the Milk Dud box by my DH to get to the bottom of the chocolately-coated caramel discs, the crackle-crunch of popcorn all around me, amplified in the large theater by my two preschoolers, mastering the mouth-open chew...
God help me. Pass the water.
I am pleased to say that I did it; I made it through to the other side of this day-long 'test' in flying colors. Mostly. I will cop to the fact that a fragment of chip did pass the gatekeeper whilst I carefully ate around these hidden assailants in my Southwest Salad at the aforementioned McDonald's visit (no dressing, squeeze of lime).
I end the day with a group hug. All of my favorite things wanted to gather for this not-so-candid 'Missing' poster.
There is no reward for their capture and safe return.
Here we are, at the end of Day 2 of the Challenge. While I'm not feeling overly hungry or lethargic (as I thought I would and perhaps did on Day 1), I am finding that I am missing certain...things.
The first thing I realized I was missing this morning was the, ahem, movement that usually takes place after my morning coffee. Still, at the end of Day 2, nothing is, uh, moving, which has given me the radiant appearance of a blossoming 1st trimester mother. Not to worry; I know it's all in the process...
Moving on. Pun intended.
The headaches I experienced on Day 1 have subsided, and I think my thoughts are becoming more clear. However, these moments of clarity came to a screeching halt when I decide it would be fun to take the kids to McDonalds (RARE 'treat') and the movie Frozen (soo good; true love is not always the romantic kind - FINALLY, DISNEY, you got it right!) But I digress.
Yes, soon after we made this decision, I realized that it was apparent that I was also missing my sense of better judgement. I am not sure if there are more tempting aromas than that of the infamous McD's french fries or the warm, wafting aroma of movie theater popcorn. Nay, the only thing that made those more irrisitible was the sounds that accompanied these scents: the shaking of the Milk Dud box by my DH to get to the bottom of the chocolately-coated caramel discs, the crackle-crunch of popcorn all around me, amplified in the large theater by my two preschoolers, mastering the mouth-open chew...
God help me. Pass the water.
I am pleased to say that I did it; I made it through to the other side of this day-long 'test' in flying colors. Mostly. I will cop to the fact that a fragment of chip did pass the gatekeeper whilst I carefully ate around these hidden assailants in my Southwest Salad at the aforementioned McDonald's visit (no dressing, squeeze of lime). I end the day with a group hug. All of my favorite things wanted to gather for this not-so-candid 'Missing' poster.
There is no reward for their capture and safe return.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
AdvoCare 24-day challenge - Day 1
Ok - here goes...down the hatch...
I suppose it was inevitable; after months of being away from yoga and slowly working my way to the bottom of four bags Cadbury chocolate balls (Christmas version - and let's not get into the litany of foods enjoyed over the Holidays. No regrets: it's a time for joy, and self-forgiveness!).
But I digress...
My interest was piqued in this company when a few of my friends started talking about the amount of newfound energy experienced with this Challenge. I could use that. The other side-effect is weight-loss and tone, but that's not my goal. I'll consider this a success if I can hit the reset switch on my waning energy, thereby motivating me back into a physical regimen once again. A summer triathlon perhaps??
So - Day 1
First, a glimpse into my usual morning routine: kids crawl in bed with me at about 6:45-7am. I pull the covers over us all and say, "Let's stay in bed a little longer. Don't you guys wanna snuggle??" Ugh. Mornings are the worst. Finally peel myself out of bed and into the kitchen for the cereal-milk pouring and toast-making (one with cinnamon, one butter-only...Every. Single. Morning) And, every single morning, neither of them seem to have quite enough room for the last soggy bite of cereal, nor the crusts of toast: enter my morning breakfast. Followed up with a few Cadbury balls and you've got a pretty good idea of my champion breakfast for the past few months. Cringe. After the bus-stop and then daycare drop-off, it's back home where I work for a technology training company from my all-too-close to-the-fridge-and-pantry home office. At this point, I may put on a pot of coffee and proceed to drink 3 or 4 cups - or I may not. It's not the caffeine I crave, me thinks; rather, the warmth and homey smell of coffee. We shall see.
This routine came to a screeching halt this Saturday morning; however, the drag-me-out-of-bed part was still the same.
Part one: Sparks energy/nutritional drink
Not bad. Tastes like Tang that my grandma used to serve us.
After that quick visit down memory lane, the routine is followed by the Herbal Cleanse fiber pack. Read: 10 grams of fiber packed into 8 oz. of water. I was warned this will thicken upon standing. Very true. The last few ounces seemingly had to be chewed before attempting to swallow, lest the gag reflex be initiated. Shudder.
This leads me to the current hour. Next on my AdvoCare checklist: Breakfast. I'm feeling quite full from the now 24 oz. of water I've already been forced to drink, so making a better breakfast choice should be easier, just by sheer default. As the pretty purple bag of Cadbury's flirts endlessly with me, I make my way to the fridge for an egg white/spinach omelet.
Stay tuned...
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Oil Cleansing Method (OCM)
For those of you that walk on the crunchier side, you've no doubt heard the buzz about the oil cleansing method (OCM).
I shuddered the first time I read the gory details: rubbing thick oil all over your face to COMBAT acne and overactive skin.
Insert sound of screeching record here.
But, I must say, I approve.
It takes some experimenting with that works best. Crunchy Betty has some great advice on getting started with OCM, as well as her lastest post on tweaking the formula a bit.
What's working for me now: 2/3 castor oil to 1/3 Smude's cold-pressed sunflower oil; tamanu oil (just a few drops/shot) and a few drops of tea tree oil.
Shockingly, your face may seem a bit dry after following the hot washcloth washing instructions. I use a bit of tamanu oil (very powerful oil with healing properties) over my face as a moisturizer.
Thoughts? Successes or failures out there?
I shuddered the first time I read the gory details: rubbing thick oil all over your face to COMBAT acne and overactive skin.
Insert sound of screeching record here.
But, I must say, I approve.
It takes some experimenting with that works best. Crunchy Betty has some great advice on getting started with OCM, as well as her lastest post on tweaking the formula a bit.
What's working for me now: 2/3 castor oil to 1/3 Smude's cold-pressed sunflower oil; tamanu oil (just a few drops/shot) and a few drops of tea tree oil.
Shockingly, your face may seem a bit dry after following the hot washcloth washing instructions. I use a bit of tamanu oil (very powerful oil with healing properties) over my face as a moisturizer.
Thoughts? Successes or failures out there?
The Four Agreements
As I may have eluded to in the past, I am in yoga teacher training (RYT 220) and will graduate from this intense program in November. I'm in month 4 and each month gets deeper into the guts of what makes us...
But I digress - the first meeting brought the lesson that would set the stage for the entire practice and probably my entire life as I now know it: The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. Please comment in this post if you've read this book, heard of it, and any insights or ways this has changed you. Not only are these guidelines important for personal growth, they help in business/family/friends/relationships/marriage on a daily (hourly!) basis.
Briefly, the Four Agreements are as follows (summed up nicely by Ruiz on the book's jacket:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
I feel like this book is a business model, marriage counseling course, relationship rescue, parenting handbook, and self-help book all rolled into one. The agreements are simple when read, but very hard to put into practice. Each agreement makes you more aware of yourself, your words and actions and makes you a more CONSCIOUS human.
But I digress - the first meeting brought the lesson that would set the stage for the entire practice and probably my entire life as I now know it: The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. Please comment in this post if you've read this book, heard of it, and any insights or ways this has changed you. Not only are these guidelines important for personal growth, they help in business/family/friends/relationships/marriage on a daily (hourly!) basis.
Briefly, the Four Agreements are as follows (summed up nicely by Ruiz on the book's jacket:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.2. Don't Take Anything Personally (HUGE!)
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. WITH THIS JUST ONE AGREEMENT, YOU CAN COMPLETELY TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment-to-moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.
I feel like this book is a business model, marriage counseling course, relationship rescue, parenting handbook, and self-help book all rolled into one. The agreements are simple when read, but very hard to put into practice. Each agreement makes you more aware of yourself, your words and actions and makes you a more CONSCIOUS human.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)